Capture

And from the same season....

The stars shine brighter tonight:
They celebrate as I rip off my second skin.
Beauty and darkness fight it out,
To wrench the pain from my body.
It is pain that this is pain to me.
How can I look at myself and you,
With this blemish on me,
That spreads like cancer over my soul?
To hold lies because they feel safe,
To risk sinking and drowning,
So I can hold a useless stone in my hand?
I choose true beauty: I choose you, Lord.

Turning Away

I wrote this one a while ago....

I give birth to adieu,
The pain of release returning,
Yet this is a fresh battle,
Spiked as never before.
It is death to hold it in.
I grab my face, forcing it round:
I must see your choice.
You choose and choose and choose...
Maybe there is rejuvenation,
After this cull.
All I'm doing, is walking as I should have,
But I have to wrench myself onto that path.

Inverse Sadness

I have something to say, but even I don't know what it is.
Maybe if I go to sleep with a pen beside my dreams,
Or do an ink impression off my heart,
We can both read what is written there.

The heart-head line has been severed:
It makes educated guesses that are factually correct,
Looking in from outside, cool and detached,
Reflecting you.

My heart begins to reveal it's cards,
Like the final round of knock-out whist.
Still you look expectantly, but now without the magnifying glass.
Soon you will wander on, forgetting I'm not fine.

What would you have me do?
Plunge my hand deep into my chest,
And pull out the offending heart,
So we can cross-examine it into submission?

Perhaps, I should operate to reconnect
The dodgy plumbing?
I can't map this out for you,
Because the mirror comes up blank.

11/1/14